Drive-Thru Nuptials
by Ifonlyheknewme
Summary: They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That's a lie. You get married there, that follows you out of the state and valid for life. Even if you don't exactly remember marrying the groom. I've got 8 weeks to get a divorce from a guy I hate, otherwise I'll lose the one I love. This should be simple, right?


_**~DRIVE-THRU NUPTIALS~**_

**-One-**

"Bella, I asked you to come in here today because..." Jasper cleared his throat and slid a manila folder across the table, "I found something."

My heart sank as I stared into his deep blue eyes.

Jasper was my lawyer. He'd been with me ever since I got into this business. I was a successful comedian, rich and famous, blah, blah. At any rate, I needed trustworthy people in my life, and Jasper was one of them. He watched my back and kept me out of trouble, financial and otherwise.

So, when he says he's found something, I knew it that it couldn't be good.

"Great," I said, hunching my shoulders and preparing my mind for the worst. "I knew Jake was too perfect. Any guy who willingly wants to marry me has to have something wrong with him."

It was two months before our wedding, I should have sent Jasper to do a background check on him sooner, but things between us got serious so fast. I didn't expect to fall in love with him.

"I didn't find anything on Jake, Bells," Jasper said, pushing the folder forward.

"What?" My forehead crinkled in confusion. "But you just said-"

"It would seem that in the state of California you can't get married until you get a divorce," he said with raised an eyebrow and cheeky smile.

The blasé attitude he had towards my broken heart set a fire underneath my ass and I snapped. "Well, that's a fucked up way of telling me that my fiancé is married. "

I moved to get up, ready to go storming out of here and put a boot in Jake's ass.

He narrowed his eyes and reached out for my arm. "Wait, Bella, sit down, I think we have some miscommunication. "

"No, I understand perfectly. Jake's married."

He shook his head and spoke carefully. "No, he's not married, Bella."

"He's not?" The muscles in my body eased and I sat back down.

"No, he's not."

I laughed, almost on the verge of hysterics. "Oh, thank God, you scared me, Jasper. I mean, I was about to go over his house—"

"But you are."

I blinked at him, wide eyed and confused. "Say that again?"

"You're the one who's married, Bella."

"Um, no I'm not," I said.

"Yes, you are." He was adamant and tone severe.

"No, I'm not," I repeated, getting more agitated by the insistent accusation. I felt my muscles tighten again.

"Bella-"

"No, you listen to me, Jasper; I am not married, alright? Come on, don't you think that would be something that I would remember doing?"

"Yeah, I would think so, and that's why this is all a bit of a shock to me. I was mad at you for not telling me. Do you realize the legal mess this wouldn't have been if it wasn't found? The press would have a fucking field day with this, and who knows if your career could recover from such a scandal."

He was talking fast and my brain was slow to process, but it was becoming crystal clear to me.

"Will you just stop?!" I shouted and he stared at me, surprised by my outburst. "I can't…I'm married, is that what you're telling me?"

"Yes, Bella, that is _exactly _what I am telling you."

My hands started to shake. "Since when?"

"Since two-thousand-and-two."

Thinking back, I tried to remember that time. I was young, barely twenty-two, and doing several comedy clubs to get my foot in the door. It was in two-thousand-and-three when I landed my first HBO special. I was one thousand percent single back then.

None of this made sense.

"No, it's not possible…I wasn't involved with anyone, Jasper. "

"Bella, I don't know why you chosen to forget something like this," he said.

"Because it didn't fucking happen, unless it was some immaculate nuptial." I was screaming again.

He held up his hand to calm me. "Listen, Bella, I didn't believe it myself at first, but I double-checked everything—at least five or six times—and it's legit, okay? Here, take a look for yourself." He opened the folder in front of me and pulled out a single sheet document. He pointed to my surname, clearly there in a bold, black print. "In August of that year you got married to a man by the name of..." he slowly moved his finger over to my supposed husband's name and my heart stopped.

_Oh, no..._

A wave of suppressed memories of a drunken night in Vegas, with a man I dated nearly ten years ago, came flooding back and knocked the air right out of me.

"Do you even know an Edward Cullen?" Jasper asked.

I groaned, dropping my head to the table and banging it hard against the wood.

_Why him? Why fucking him?_


End file.
